CRITIQUE 12 - TWO ABSTRACTS part 1 and 2

QUESTION from Jan Stickland:  Please give me your honest opinion of them and if i could improve on them somehow
ANSWER:  
Hi Jan - thank you so much for submitting for a critique!  Your abstracts are vibrant and full of color!  Very lovely!!
I don't need to talk color as you have a vast knowledge of it already!!
But I will talk about using value to set up a composition in a painting like this where you cannot lean on the structure of shapes to create the composition.

When an image has a lot of the same or similar value it may not have a strong focal point or direction for the eye to follow or be held in the piece.  
If you notice in the first image, it is much the same value overall, however, there is a hint of the eye heading toward the vortex...  so - If I enhanced that though hopefully we will see a stronger composition with interest to make the eye travel within the piece and also an area to slightly hold the eye's interest.
ORIGINAL PAINTING:

EDITED IMAGE:
Note the stronger lighted areas and how they grab your eye and lead you around the painting in a swirl motion to the center dark area just below the highlighted school of fish.

 There are several patterns that artists utilize in paintings whether they are abstract or representational.  one is the z pattern another is the triangle and so on.  These patterns make the eye follow through the piece to "read" it and create visual interest and visual sense.

For people who read left to right the eye naturally looks for patterns that match that idea.  Same with right to left readers, etc.
A strong pattern in this piece (to me) is a triangle

This is not the only answer, of course...  but it might give you a jump start!  
Best of luck with your work - it is wonderful!!
cj
PART 2:

QUESTION from Jan Stickland:  Please give me your honest opinion of them and if i could improve on them somehow
ANSWER:  PART 2 
Hi Jan - thank you so much for submitting for a critique!  Your abstracts are vibrant and full of color!  Very lovely!!  And I apologize for the photoshop mutilation of your artwork!  ;)
Again, great use of color and great excitement and movement in your 
ORIGINAL WORK:

Of course - for every "rule" there is the exception!  
I spoke a bit about patterns with your last abstract piece in part 1.

We read from left to right and tend to read paintings in the same manner.  If we don't  find landmarks where we expect them, then we are confused and do not know that to look at.
So, as in this piece, we give em landmarks via shape size and by changing value and contrasting areas in this
CRITIQUE:

So you see ... we have set the pattern the eye will follow with the falling orbs into a dark center with a glowing atmosphere that leads to the focal point of the highest contrasting values which is the left edge of the "hole"    
So you can set up tried and true patterns in your paintings - OR, you can set your own path for the eye to follow through your piece.
I hope that helps some - and remember - everything said is brought from that person's experiences in life - so you might find other solutions that work just as well from your experiences.  
There are many paths to the same goal! -cj
Best to you -
CJ

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